Breaking News – Idiot Trapped at Tree

At around 7am this morning, officials were contacted regarding a lady who was trapped in a tree, now this sounded a little implausible to them due to A) usually it was cats that get stuck up trees, and B) they worked for the department of national road gritting.

Naturally they ignored the call due to it “likely being a load of bollocks”, and then went about their daily business, grumbling about how all the other government departments never got out their stinking pits till after 9am.

At around 8am they were contacted again by passers by, who clarified that the crazy lady wasn’t trapped in a tree, but next to a tree, when the water levels rose from a flash shower during the night. Naturally this time they were forced to attend, due to being the only government agency awake so early in the day.

We interviewed the deputy director of grit procurement as they attended the scene, who stated.. “I’ve never seen so much crap in my whole life, this idiot thinks that she will melt if she walks through the wat……errrrrr… what the fuck is up with her hands!”

 

Crazy Lady trapped at tree

 

 

 

Never trust a guy who wants to show you his special place after dark….

Come on over he said…. come visit my favourite spot of the park…

Why did we have to wait so late I asked… it’d better be worth it when we get there….

It’s pretty dark without any street lamps…. and those weird noises are starting to make me nervous….

These look pretty high tech, all these fences we keep sneaking through…… what are they fooooooooooooooooooor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Dino Crisis 01 Dino Crisis 02

 

 

Well, I dun went and f’ked up

There I was, wandering round the bunker, minding my own business, when I saw something shiny through the window to Dr Lupe’s office.

So typical me, my eyes lit up and I had to touch it, cos…. well…. shiny…. and it even had electronics on it, so cute, so awesome… so wrong….

Never play with gadgets

 

The eternal Thanksgiving conundrum

Yes, I know it’s not close to thanksgiving, not even that silly Canadian one that all you US types take the mickey out of.

But it was either a thanksgiving reference, or a MJ song title, and to be honest, the subject matter probably tastes more like turkey than MJ…..

So, Which do you prefer…..Dark or Light meat?

Answers on a postcard, or just in the comments….if you can be arsed

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Damn you group chat, all that talking and stuff!

Don’t you just hate that moment when everyone is chatting away nicely in a group, and someone pipes up about not wanting to hear what everyone else is talking about….¬† then it all starts getting obnoxious and rude…..

Till that one person manages to squeeze the last breath out of the friendly chat and the group goes silent….

And there was me thinking that Second Life was an evolution of the old internet chat rooms… talking should be banned, or at the very least you should be flogged for it…

 

Protest the chat